Nothing says sexy like a man in footy pajamas...

http://www.pajamacity.com/

Wow...all I can say is....wow. If my man showed up in bed wearing these, I'd laugh my ass off. Granted, they're probably incredibly comfy and keep you warm. But unless you're sleeping alone, who needs that much warmth? And the fact that some have drop seats--just a little to Pa Ingalls for me, thanks. ;-)

Who knew he was such a dirty guy?

This video had me & my friends at work laughing so hard we got tears in our eyes. This is what happens when you take an innocent children's song/video and bleep out just one simple word (in this case "count") and R-rated hilarity ensues...

I'm gonna have to get me one of these!!

I just have to draw your attention for a moment to another blog called "arghink" and a certain topic that caught my eye...

The Glittery Hoo Ha

I'm gonna have to get me one of these! Is it something that you're just born with? Can I learn it? Can I just buy some glitter at the local craft store and (a la Tim Gunn) "make it work"? This bears investigation....

Free Rice!

Someone just brought this web site to my attention this morning and it looks like a pretty cool thing they're doing. (Especially to someone like me who is a grammar nut.) You have to choose the correct definitition for words that they give you. For each word that you get right, they will donate 10 grains of rice to the United Nations World Food Program. I don't know if there's any way to really know if this is for real or not--I hope that it is. But if it's not....well....at least you learned some new vocabulary words!

Free Rice to help end world hunger

This is why I love LOLCats:

moar funny pictures

Gotta love those romance novel covers...

The women at Smart Bitches have posted yet another great collection of romance novel covers. Bad hair, confusing poses, and serious mantitty.
Click here for some snark
(Oh, and don't forget to read the comments)

Bollywood Meets Trojan

Holy condoms Batman! We hit the motherlode of educational videos with this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTLj_3R0-2g

Yes, it's actually almost 7 minutes long. Yes, there are dancing Indian men dressed up like condom Teletubbies. And yes, there is one brief pictorial towards the end which is a drawn example of gay sex. But kudos to them for trying to make an effort to educate everyone on safe sex. Don't worry, it comes with subtitles and boy, are some of them hilarious! I never knew condoms were good-natured. And I love the admonishing about half way through to the younger people: "In your youth you become rash and careless. You think no end of yourself. You desire for sex with multiple partners. For momentary pleasure you go to great lengths." (heh--go to great lengths...)

Some thoughts come to mind though:

Why the long white opera gloves? Is it supposed to add a touch of class?

What is the point of the group of dancing guys in white? (Is that the musical Bollywood portion of the video?) And that ridiculous popping up behind the other dancers like an excited little prairie dog...the one in the middle has that smile & shrug down, doesn't he?

And those serious guys standing around in the background. You'd think they could have sprung (heh) for some video vixens or some Indian belly dancing version of them.

Did they REALLY need that drawing of the gay sex? Don't you think they already know how it works? Do they honestly need a diagram?

Well, at least it was very educational and covered a realm of information. Thank goodness for assorted colors & fragrances!

I've been a bad, bad girl....

Before you get those naughty thoughts going in your head, what I mean is that I haven't written anything here in a LONG time! You know how sometimes the time just gets away from you--hockey season starts, trips are taken, work is busy--then you realize you haven't written anything to amuse/annoy your friends in awhile.

A few new things to take note of, since I've still been perusing the internet even though I haven't written anything here:

I'm on Facebook now, so if any of you are on it you can find me here: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=513448033

I've found another web site (thanks to my sister) that I love to look at and have added it in my links. http://www.engrish.com Checking out the pictures on this web site make me want to take a trip to Japan (or China), just for the giggle factor alone. Here are some examples:

http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=dont-touch-yourself.jpg&category=CHINGLISH&date=2007-01-29

http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=happy-children-factory.jpg&category=Signs/Posters&date=2007-06-10

http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=spare-prick.jpg&category=Signs/Posters&date=2007-04-03

http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=not-feel-well-get-drunk.jpg&category=Signs/Posters&date=2007-01-10

How can you not love their command of the english language?

All blondes aren't dumb.....but this one is!

I watched this video clip and didn't know whether I should laugh or cry. (Okay, I admit I was giggling pretty hard by the time it was over...) Girls who participate in beauty pageants are always trying to "break the stereotype" of dumb, pretty girls. But this poor little thing just set them back another hundred years.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww

(For an added giggle, read through the comments below the video--they made me chuckle!)

TV Dinner guy

Too funny!!!

Don't Hassel the Hoff...

There's just something terribly wrong with this:
http://www.waxhoff.com/

Pink Pistol Packing Lesbian Gangs....wtf???

I ran across mention of this on a blog that I read (one of my favorites--Smart Bitches--see my blog list) and I just HAD to share...

Apparently we should all be in fear for our heterosexual lives due to marauding gangs of pink pistol packing lesbians. Here is a link to the story from the Southern Poverty Law Center, about the "expert" who appeared on Bill O'Reilly's program on Fox News:
http://www.splcenter.org/intel/news/item.jsp?aid=274&site_area=1

Of course, I had to immediately email a couple of lesbian friends to see if they own any pink pistols. ;-)

Thoooooo thexy!

People really need to listen to people's voices before they hire them to do radio ads....

I just came back from getting lunch and while I was driving to Subway I was listening to my XM radio. A commercial came on for women's "sensual items" and I almost died laughing. The woman doing the commercial had a horrible lisp! (Not that having a lisp is funny, just that it made the commercial sound so wrong...) Picture this: "Ladieth you can add thome exthitement to your thex life with thenthual lotionth, pleathure toyth and thexy lingerie." (All done in one of those "sexy" voices, of course...) This went on for the whole commercial! ROFL! For some reason I kept picturing Cindy Brady....

Boy or girl? Scarlett or Rocket?

My friend Scott just reminded me that I haven't revealed the name of my new Element. I didn't mean to leave everyone hanging...
I think I've settled on Scarlett. After checking around on the Element Owners web site, I found there were a LOT of Ellie's, Watson's and even a couple of Ruby's. I didn't see any others named Scarlett and if my car is a girl, it seems like a good fit.
But here's my dilemma--is my car a girl or a boy? It's so boxy and kinda tough looking in it's own little way. (Scott, no lesbian jokes...) If it's a boy, then Scarlett doesn't fit very well and I would probably go with Rocket. (As Kath said, "as in the rocket's red glare". Also, it just seems kind of like an inside joke--what rocket would be built like a box??)
Sooooo.....thoughts?

Happy Birthday to me....

So today I turn 39. Why does that sound so much worse than 38? I'm touched by the friends who have sent e-cards and posted well-wishes to me on the CruiseCritic.com threads. 10 years ago I had only been living in Idaho for one year and didn't really know anyone. I still don't know a lot of people here in Idaho (except for a few close friends through work or parents of my son's friends), but I'm amazed at the friends I've made through cruising. Who would have thought that people I met on a cruise who are all the way across the United States would be so close to my heart. I get Christmas cards, birthday cards, and lots of emails and instant messages. I've become close enough with some of these people that I've even let them talk me into doing another cruise in February of 2009. 2009!!! I've NEVER planned something that far ahead! But that's what happens when you make good friends...

One of my secret vices when it comes to t.v. is watching "So You Think You Can Dance". I used to dance when I was younger and it's fun to watch this show and see some of these really talented people. I also have a soft spot for theatre and have been to many musicals with my dad over the years. So I think that's one of the reasons this particular dance really made me smile. It reminded me of somthing you'd see in a stage musical. And I LOVE their outfits! They performed the dance to Cabaret Hoover from the animated film The Triplets of Belleville.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZd1f8-0V4s

My New Favorite Commercial

Today I found my new favorite commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_veJgg-y2zg

"no pinch...."

"Thong on Fire" and Other Bad Novels...

I am NOT a romance novel reader. Can't stand 'em, to tell you the truth. I prefer a good suspense or mystery to get my blood flowing. But I HAVE to give props (oh God, did I actually just say "give props"??) to the "Smart Bitches Who Love Trashy Novels" web site. (See link under "Web Pages I Like") The main part of their web site that I always go back to check on is their cover art snark. Here's a little sample for the cover of a book called "Thong on Fire":

Sarah: That’s one way to refer to gonorrhea.
Candy: When I saw that cover, I immediately heard Wolf Parade singing “Sometimes we rock and roll, sometimes we strip at home and it’s just fine, this thong’s on fire, this thong’s on fire, this thong’s on fire, this thong’s on fire.”
Anybody else? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Then the comments that the readers send in are enough to keep you in stitches for hours:

Dear me...I fear perhaps, her thong is on fire due to all the horrible chafing from that butt floss...did you see this was from the author of “Thug-A-Licious” ? Hmm...nothing’s sexier than knockin’ boots with yer baby daddy after he gets out of the pen. -Mamanice

And my personal favorite, from Amy F.B. E.- I can’t get past Thong On Fire. Holy shit. I shouldn’t be surprised at the utter horrendousness of that title since its predecessor was called Thug-A-Licious (didn’t he tour with Eminem last year?), but still. That’s one damn lousy title for anything other than a STD prevention manual!
“Are you a shameless hussy? Do your friends refer to you as the Revolving Whore? Are you physically incapable of seeing anything oblong without humping it madly, regardless of who’s watching? Have you not yet lived down that incident with the blow up doll, the waffle iron, and the church pew, despite moving to another state? Can you read at a 2nd grade level? Well, this is the book for you--THONG ON FIRE!
“This stirring novel teaches you ways to prevent a recurrence of that inconvenient green discharge from your Magic Vajayjay, as well as detailing methods for reducing that irritating twat chapping caused by fucking every doorknob in Home Depot! Order your copy today--only $19.95 in this special TV offer--but wait, there’s more! Act now and get not one, not two, but three extra-strength, silver-studded, faux leatherette condoms! Make your men howl with pleasure… or is it pain?… as they penetrate every one of your glistening lurve grottos. And that’s not all--we’ll also throw in this industrial-strength energizing and disinfecting spray, specially formulated for the tired and overused ladypocket...”
Oh yeah. I can’t wait to read it.

This web site is definitely worthy of saving in your favorites if you enjoy reading sarcastic review of REALLY bad cover art. http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com/index.php/C12/

More Element nicknames from other Element drivers

"Lunchbox"
"Breadbox"
"Box Car"
"The Short Bus"
"Milk Truck"
"Cranberry Juice Box"
"Fridge"

Name that Element!!

We have a new addition to the family! For awhile now I've been wanting to trade in my car for either a new Jeep Patriot or a Honda Element. (I know, really different cars, but those were what I had narrowed it down to.)
After looking around on Sunday (MAJOR retail therapy after the weekend I was having) the Element won. I found a deal on a 2007 Tango Red Pearl EX model and it was done. The picture above is a stock picture, but it gives you a basic idea of the car. Elements are something that I think you either love or you hate. Most people who hate it base it solely on the look of the car. So I'll understand if some of you come up with affectionate nicknames for it. (Elements have been referred to as "Elephants", "Toasters", "Mini UPS Vans"(mostly the newer Root Beer colored SC model), and numerous other things--check out this thread on the Element Owner's Club web site for more funny comments: http://www.elementownersclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=34631
However, we all know that the cars we love are required to have a name. Whether it's a cute one (Little's "Lulu" comes to mind) or a funny/weird one (I knew a guy in high school who called his the "Smegmamobile" because it was a piece of crap held together with duct tape & bondo). Should I come up with a name that plays on the "Element" name? Or refer to it's boxy shape? Or the red color? Let's hear some ideas!

Too Much Death

We attended the funeral for Nikki today, and it was very touching. Lots of tears, but some laughter too from people's comments and the video they showed. Then this evening we went to Ryan & Tracy's house (Nikki's brother & sister in law) for a party. Nikki had requested a party for her in the event of her death. It was a nice time and we came home feeling much better than we had earlier in the day.
Unfortunately when we came home from the party, our son told us that he had found out that one of his friends was killed last night in a car accident, along with his dad, a younger brother and an older brother. http://www.ktvb.com/news/localnews/stories/ktvbn-may2607-crash.12d148bf.html So now there will probably be another funeral that I will be attending if my son wants to go. It was hard enough for me to understand MY friend dying of cancer. How does a 14 year old boy understand a friend dying so young? I started this blog with great anticipation of funny anectdotes I would be sharing with friends and family. Lately I feel like I'm just writing about death. Hopefully I won't have to write about it anymore.

I'll miss you Nikki

Tonight at 8:30 p.m., Nikki Malay stopped breathing. The cancer had spread up her spinal cord and was blanketing her brain, slowly shutting down the vivacious friend that we all knew and loved. We will say good bye to her in a way that is only fitting for her outgoing personality. Before she passed away she asked her brother Ryan to throw a big party, a celebration. I already know it will be loud, fun, bittersweet and we will all try to live up to Nikki's big personality. We'll miss you Nikki.

The REAL moon landing of 1969

Found this on YouTube today and it made me laugh, which I really needed:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mouUUWpEec0

Now we really know.....

I'll Never Understand...

When you find out that a friend is dying, you hear a lot of people say, "It just must be their time" or "God must have a purpose for them". But when that friend is only in their mid-twenties and full of life, how do you make sense of that? You can try to put blame on the things they've done in the past (maybe it was the heavy drinking that gave them stomach cancer) but that doesn't really help either. Besides, I know plenty of people who have partied hard for years and never had any problems (well, other than waking up in a strange bedroom with someone they really don't know...) So how do you just accept that this friend who is so vivacious is now lying in a hospital room and the doctors are saying to call all the friends and family because it's a matter of a couple of days to a week? Then you start thinking of the murderers, rapist, child molesters, etc. who are perfectly healthy. Shouldn't the evil people be the ones to get cancer? Couldn't it be something we could give to them like a sentence? "Instead of life in prison, we're giving you lung cancer with 2 months to live." Or stomach cancer with a week to live. It would solve the overcrowding problem and also take care of that pesky death penalty. Then the nice people would still be here.....

Patricia Arquette is Limecat's twin!

I posted this yesterday on my old Myspace blog, but figured I HAD to post it here, because I love it!

I'm an avid Medium watcher. I love the show. My son watches the show and loves it too. But at the beginning of this season, when Patricia Arquette appeared sporting her new short bob, I wasn't sure I liked it. My son even said, "There's something about that hairstyle that reminds me of something I've seen before...but I can't figure out what it is." A few minutes later, my son blurted out, "It's that cat with the lime on it's head!!" You can judge for yourself....

Birth of a blog

So I figure I've been through childbirth already, so birthing a blog should be a snap! Right? I've made my feeble attempts at keeping one up on Myspace, but wanted to make a "real" blog that any of my friends can read and don't have to be a member to see. (Plus I got tired of being hit on by 18 year olds on Myspace who wanted to know if I was interested in "a little something on the side.") That picture up there is me and my husband, on one of the rare occasions that I got him to go on a cruise with me. We were in a bar in Ensenada and he said that's the only part of the cruise he enjoyed. This first blog is really just an introduction (nice to meet you!) and from here on I'll just be dropping little nuggets of wisdom and everyday life on my readers. Happy reading!