Homesick...

I've been going along just fine lately--working, getting ready for Christmas, keeping up with friends on Facebook---but suddenly tonight, as I was sitting here by myself in the living room it hit me...I miss my family. I've been living in Idaho for over 14 years now and everyone feels so far away. I see others around me who have family close by, some even still living with their families. Our family is spread so far and wide throughout the U.S. and it would be impossible to be close to them all the time.
In some cultures, families live together from birth until death. The old take care of the young and eventually the young take care of the old. Meals are taken together, hardships are worked through together and celebrations are rejoiced together. It's tough to do that from thousands of miles away.
I know I've missed a lot of moments with my family. I can't turn back the clock and stop everyone from living their lives and moving on. But I would give anything to snuggle with my sister in my dad's big easy chair again, her in her soft cotton nightgown and me in my warm Winnie the Pooh pajamas. To watch my brother practicing with his cheerleading squad in our backyard, in awe of how grown up he seemed. To drive my dad's '84 Camaro for the first time on a lonely highway through Utah, just the two of us on a four state road trip. To learn how to two-step with my mother in our living room, the two of us laughing at stumbling over our own feet.
We all move on and make our own lives. I just wish we all could have made them a little closer together...

18 Years....

Today is my son's 18th birthday.  Back on this day in 1992 I never would have thought about this day coming.  All I could see was the precious little bundle in my arms and really couldn't think about anything past that. 

 He always marched to the beat of his own drum, even from an early age.  What a rebel!

 But I always knew that he was going places....

And he's never been afraid to try new things and embrace it with everything he had, even if it meant trying something people might think is weird...

He's always had a unique sense of humor....I think he gets that from me.  He has the ability to make me laugh even when I don't want to...

I've always been amazed at his ability to fall asleep pretty much anywhere/any way....

When it comes to his love of music, he's worked hard at it and never stops learning...

He's had many friends over the years, some that have come and gone, some that have been there since kindergarten...

(These were kids he went to a home daycare with when he was around 2 years old.  The two boys on the left, believe it or not are the grandsons of Frankie Avalon.  I wonder what they're up to these days?  The girl on the right reconnected with Collin awhile back on Myspace...technology is wonderful.)

Life with him is always an adventure...

And as I look back I realize it was all of these crazy little things in his life that shaped him into the respectable young man he is today....

Uh, yeah........

Happy 18th Birthday Collin!  I love you more than barbecued potato chips.

I Miss You Grandma...

On June 10, 1912 my grandmother Ina Mae Cowley was born.  Later in her adult life she became Ina Mae Graves and eventually Ina Mae Pommaz, which is the name I grew up knowing her by.  We lost her in February of 1996, just four months shy of her 84th birthday.  It wasn't until she was gone that I realized how much I had lost when she passed away.  It always seems like we realize in retrospect just how much someone had an influence on our life.  If she was still with us, she would have turned 98 today. 

I don't know a lot about her life as a child.  But I have a wonderful little photo album that belonged to her that I like to imagine gives me a little glimpse into her life as a young woman.  It's filled with old black & white photos of her friends, family members and of course her.  Some of the photos don't have have captions or explanations and I like to make up stories in my head about the men in the stiff suits and big cowboy hats...or the girl standing with her back to the camera all alone with the old car in the background.

But I don't have to make up stories about my memories of her--Like being a small child and playing out in the backyard of her house with my sister, with the hum & rattle of her rock tumbler running in the garage.  Or looking through the large encyclopedias she had, trying to figure out all of the riddles & optical illusions.

  

The place I have the most memories about though is the mobile home she lived in for years in Long Beach.  (The same mobile home I rode my bicycle to when I was only about 7 years old and got mad at my sister who was babysitting me.  This little trip took me all the way from our house near Studebaker & Atherton to her mobile home park off Lyons Drive, just past the Edison plant!)  I remember sitting at a table in her "goody room" (the extra room in her mobile home that was filled with every kind of craft notion you could imagine), while she patiently showed me how to thread beads on a wire to make a bracelet.  This room was a treasure trove for a little girl.  It's where I learned about Christmas card ornaments, Mod Podge and turquoise & bone jewelry.  I also remember the fascinating knick-knacks in her living room like her Kewpie Doll collection and the interesting things her son (my Uncle David) sent to her from Australia & New Zealand.  I remember the stacks of romance paperback books she had in her bedroom.  And as a teenager, I remember the times that I had cramps so bad they would make me sick to my stomach.  My grandmother would come get me at school, since my mom was working, and take me to her mobile home.  She would take me to her bedroom and put me in her bed, propped up with pillows so I could watch the Twilight Zone & Little House on the Prairie reruns.  She would always bring a hot water bottle in and lay it on my abdomen and make me tea.  

It's looking back on memories like these, as an adult, that remind me what a wonderful person she was and how much I probably under-appreciated her when I was younger.  I'm happy that I got to have her in my life for as long as I did, especially since my Grandmother Heinrich on my dad's side passed away when I was only one year old.  I'm glad I get to have my memories of her.  I've been thinking of her today and just wanted to do something to show how much she meant to me.

      Happy Birthday Grandma...I miss you....   

Memorial Day...

Today is Memorial Day...I think that over the years people have equated Memorial Day with picnics, taking the boat out to the lake, camping and the "official start of summer".  Although it was originally established on May 30th, it was later (in 1968) moved to the last Monday of the month of May to ensure a three day weekend.  This is probably one of the reasons people look at it as more of a "fun weekend" holiday.  But I don't want to lose sight of the real reason for the holiday.  

My family has a lot of ties to the military:

• My Grandfather Heinrich joined the U.S. Navy when he met some American sailors on the U.S.S. Brooklyn on tour in China.  At the time he was playing in the German Holly Symphony Orchestra, on a Lloyd Lines ocean liner which was docked next to the Naval gunboat in China.  He left everything behind in East Germany, including his parents, brothers & sisters and accepted the American sailors' invitation to join with them and continue their tour.  He served during the Boxer Rebellion the Philippines Insurrection and WWI.
• My Grandfather Graves was a Navy Seabee and served during the duration of WWII.  The Seabees built bases, bridges, roadways & airstrips during war times.
• My grandmother Pommaz was one of the women referred to as a "Rosie the Riveter" during World War II, working in the factories and at Douglas Aircraft to help out in the absence of the men who went off to war.  (I know this isn't technically military but I count it as helping out during war time.)
•   My father joined what was then known as the Army Air Corps (later separated out as the Air Force, it's own branch) right at the end of high school and went over seas to England & Germany at the end of World War II.
• My mother's brother, my Uncle Frank served in the Army, enlisting after high school around 1953.
• My mother's cousin Arland served in the Korean War as a soldier in the Army.
• My sister's husband Chuck served several terms in the Marine Corps and then later served for one term in the Army.
• My ex sister-in-law Karen (my brother's ex-wife) served in the Navy.  (Thanks again for the Navy boondock boots in high school!)  ;)
• My step-brother Matt has served for 24 years in the Air Force.  He's been to Iraq at least two times that I know of.  I think he's retiring soon. 
• My sister's daughter is now currently serving in the Army National Guard.

A few family members tried to serve in the military but for various reasons weren't able to:

• My mother's other brother, my Uncle David ("Fred") enlisted but was sent home after just a few days because of his heart.
• My father's brother Carl tried to enlist in the Army but was turned down because of a punctured ear drum.  Undeterred, he then also tried to enlist in the Navy AND the Marine Corps but was turned down by both because of the same thing.

Their hearts were in it but their bodies wouldn't let them...

I couldn't be more proud of all of these family members that have done their part over the years to protect and serve our country.  Luckily none of these family members were lost during war time or any training.  I know may others out there aren't as fortunate.  Let's not forget those who gave their lives for our country.

Happy Memorial Day.

Time To Close The Chapter On School Days...

This was September 2, 1997.  

It was my son's first day of kindergarten.  

I love the Green Eggs & Ham shirt.  And look at those little legs!  He was missing his front tooth because it had been knocked out when he was two years old when he fell on the sidewalk outside our apartment in Camarillo, California.  I'm not sure what specific thing he has in his hand but I know it was what was left of his breakfast.  (He's always been a slow eater...)

I felt like posting this today because yesterday was my son's LAST day of school.  His last school day of 12th grade.  His graduation ceremony is this coming Friday night.  We've been through so much during the years between these two days.  

A year ago I thought we'd never be close again.  It's personal and I don't want to post his private issues here for everyone to see.  But I can say that I'm so glad that we've managed to grow close again.  He's still my "little boy" and I'm sure he always will be to me.  Even though he's already grown into a wonderful young man.   

  It's strange to look at this picture and realize it's the same person as in the first picture.  Even though he's my own son and I've watched him grow up the last 13 years, I still don't connect the two pictures.  I'm sure it will get even harder when I have a wedding picture to connect or a picture of him with his own child.  

But....those things are in the future.  For now, I can look at this new picture and remind myself that this is not only the end to one chapter, but the beginning of a new one.  

I can't wait to see how it goes...