Un-Plain Jane...

When I was growing up, surrounded by girls with names like Melissa, Angela, Stephanie and Kathleen, I thought my name was plain. We've all heard the expression "Plain Jane". Or heard the typical name used for an anonymous person--"Jane Doe". Over the years I made the mistake into buying into that stereotype. I even talked myself into the notion that I was plain.

Well it's taken me forty four years, but I realize now what a gift it was to be named Jane. Jane isn't plain, it is strong. It's a single, strong syllable and it starts with a strong sounding consonant. It is the female equivalent of John--a strong men's name. It is an easy name to remember and hard to misspell. 

There have also been many famous women named Jane over the years. Jane Austen has written some of the most famous books which have been made countless times into movies and miniseries. Calamity Jane was a pretty bad ass frontierswoman. Actresses such as Jane Fonda, Jane Russell, Jane Curtin and Jane Wyman (who was also the first wife of Ronald Reagan). And don't forget Jane Goodall, the famous English primatologist.

I'm not famous. But I've done interesting things. I have zip-lined in the rain forest. I have swam with stingrays. I have traveled to several countries. I was picked to be in a music video (okay, I chickened out at the last minute, but I was still picked)! I have raised a child.

And you know what? There is nothing plain about me.  And I am strong. I am Jane.

Rowdy Dog....

This morning we lost our precious 14 year old pup, Rowdy. I always called him Rowdy Dog when I talked to him....just like I call my girl pup Zoe Girl. Back when my son was around 6 years old, I started referring to Rowdy as his dog. I know this loss is especially hard for him. I let him make all of the important decisions this morning (whether to take Rowdy to the vet, whether we stayed in the room when they had to finally help him let go, whether we took him home afterwards, where we buried him) and I'm proud of the way he handled it all--with a quiet, mature strength. My heart was especially proud when he was out in the pasture, in the pouring rain, digging the grave to bury Rowdy. He wanted to do it alone and I understood that. I let him.

Rowdy was a wonderful dog. When he was a puppy, everyone commented on his "glasses" (black rings around both eyes). As he got older, one of the things I noticed even into his old age was that everyone always commented on how soft he was. He was great to snuggle up to and I loved petting the fluffy hair around his neck. I am really going to miss petting him. I also loved how when he was really enjoying himself, he looked like he was smiling. He would be out in the sunny pasture or lying in a pile of leaves and would get that expression of pure joy on his face. 

Our little dachshund mix Zoe is going to miss him. I often think that Rowdy was gruff with her as he got old, but secretly really loved her dearly. He put up with her jumping around him like an annoying little gnat, occasionally giving her a little bark or nip to put her back in her place.  Zoe was actually the one who alerted me this morning that something was wrong--I was woken out of my sleep by the sound of her whining & howling. I got up and went out into the dining room to find her sitting next to Rowdy, who was lying down and obviously not doing well. It really proves that dogs are so sensitive to illness and know when something is wrong. Even when we brought Rowdy home today in his little cardboard "casket", Zoe kept going into the sun room where he was and trying to get up to him. She would get up on her hind legs and whine. Then she would sit down & stare up at the box, woofing out quiet little barks.

I feel blessed that we got to have Rowdy in our lives for 14 years. It would take much more than this blog entry to talk about all of the wonderful moments we had with him. He will be greatly missed.

 

And Now...A Real And True IPhone Conversation...

Embarrassing as it is, the following is a real and true IPhone (text) conversation I had with my BFF Donna.

Donna once said that it's a scary place inside my head.

I think I have to agree with her...

Me: I just brought attention to the fact that I'm not wearing tights today in honor of spring to your boss' attention. I'm a dork.

Donna: Oh gawd

Me: I caught him standing at the top of the stairs, gazing out the window. A short conversation about the beautiful weather ensued. Then I verbally vomited about my lack of tights.

Donna: Giggle

Me: I noticed that he left quickly after that. I think I scared him.

Donna: I am sure he is scarred

Me: I'm surprised I didn't do a little twirl for him so he could see my adorable spring skirt in all its glory....sigh.

Oh...by the way...did I mention that Donna's boss is the President of the college that we work for?

(facepalm)

Who Wants Some Shoes?

Who wants to buy some shoes? How about a snowboard helmet, jacket or boots? I just listed several items on Ebay--check 'em out!

My Ebay Listings

Here's a basic rundown on the items. The listings on Ebay have much more detail. If you have questions about the items, please contact me through Ebay so everything stays as per the rules. Thanks!

 Kemper snowboarding jacket--Girls size 16 but can also fit a Ladies size XS/S

 Ladies Salomon "Dawn" snowboarding boots size 7

K2 "Clutch" snowboarding helmet size medium

 Born equestrian themed clogs, size 6

 Guess strappy sandal heels size 7

 

 Doc Martens ladies oxfords--British size 3/ US size 5.5

 

Another view of the cute Guess strappy sandal heels

 

 Another view of the Born equestrian themed clogs

They're on a 5 day listing which started today. Feel free to bid to your heart's content!!

What Dreams May Come

Last night I saw my nephew CJ in one of my dreams. It was a great comfort to me because other than a dream quite awhile ago where he appeared as a little boy, I hadn't dreamed about him.

It was like a little free rewind to before he was killed, although in the dream itself I still knew that we were going to lose him. I saw him twice. The first time was when I happened upon him lying down in a meadow with his fiance. He was just lying there, on his back, like they were gazing up at the clouds. I knelt down next to him and wrapped my arms around him and told him I love him.

His immediate response was to push me away and say, "Get off me!" Not in a mean way....he was smiling when he said it. I think he was embarrassed that I did that in front of Jessica. It made me smile.

The second time was in front of a house. I'm not sure who's house it was, but somehow I knew that the rest of the family was inside. So it gave me comfort in my dream to know that the rest of the family got to see him too. Again, I couldn't resist wrapping my arms around him. 

(My eyes are welling up even as I'm writing this)

I told him that I loved him SO much and how proud I was of him for being a great dad to his kids and such a help to his parents.

Then I let him go and he walked back into the house.

Then I woke up.

And I lay there in bed, feeling sad, yet happy at the same time....wishing I could go back to my dream and see him one more time.